So I said some not so cool things in an argument I had with someone I love. I didn't mean them...do we ever? I know they hurt her...that feels bad and is definitely not who I want to be as a person. I could have gotten away with not apologizing as she had also said and done some very hurtful things as well and I could tell that if I left it alone, neither of us would have ever brought it up... the easy way out right?
The truth is though that hurtful moments (whether words or actions) may seem to pass but they are never forgotten, the scar they cause will remain. Choosing to ignore them sends a message loud and clear to that loved one that you just don't care, they don't matter. Beleive me it's very hard for me as well to admit that I screwed up, but as a very wise friend once asked me, (and I've put this in my life's tool box,) "Hey Gem...Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"
I realized that for me, the harder route (admitting that I'm wrong and apologizing to the person I've wronged) actually in the long run feels much better and is the person that I definitely choose to be. Look, we are all imperfect so we are going to mess up and from time to time do some stuff that hurts someone. But like I've learned from years of playing soccer, it's not about the mistake, it's about the recovery.
My ultimate goal as Don Miguel Ruiz explains in "The Four Agreements (great book by the way) is to be completely "impeccible with my word" at all times - In other words to only say what I mean and mean what I say and not speak or act out of hurt, anger, insecurity or fear. I'm definitely still workin on it. But in the meantime, since I can't take back what I said, I think my growth and spiritual advancement is in owning my hurtful words and actions and taking responsibility for any and all pain that I've caused (intentional or not) which begins by saying 2 very small but powerful words...I'm sorry.
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