Jenn L asks...I am having a lot of trouble with a hostile and unstable roommate and not sure how to protect myself, control my anger, or get her to leave.  What should I do?

Hey Jenn...Ok so first of all your sitch will only last about 5 more months max so hopefully you can breath a bit easier knowing that.  She will leave... It feels like something ends (maybe her lease or agreement.) In the meantime, please stay cool.  She enjoys the drama... DO NOT ENGAGE.  This will totally take away the power.  She goes out of her way to push your buttons and if I'm being honest, you are an easy target because you "fly off" pretty easy.  This thrills her.  She also seems envious or jealous of you (maybe even a bit obsessed) and therefore seems to enjoy bringing you to a negative drama filled place.  You are disconcerted by it because it is not at all your nature and you don't really do drama well or like to argue.

Instead of seeing her as the enemy... diminish her to being a tool for learning.  Use this as a learning opportunity to be able to be near someone negative but not buy in.  She is simply the tool to learn how to do this, nothing more... THEY just said family so I feel like this may go deeper.  Like this pattern happens in your family and you get seriously affected by it.  Now you have a learning op with someone irrelevant in order to learn how to be around your family (or certain specific people -feels like a female in particular, maybe sister(s) but not get the life sucked out of you or your spirit daunted.  In other words, there is a bigger picture here so don't give her so much power and make her so important.

The other thing THEY want me to remind you is that if it gets too hard to be around anyone... and THEY are including family here, you can get up and leave.  You don't have to be anywhere.  But if  you should choose to remain in the sitch then at least protect yourself (see day 9 regarding toxic situations and how to protect) and keep drama or negativity out of your touch bubble.

Check it out Peeps... It takes two to tango!  Someone can't engage in battle with you if you don't join in.  They can only sling mud which ultimately if you are going about your biz and paying them no mind, makes them look like an ass (or a hissy little 3rd grader.)  The power is in not empowering their negativity.  Focus on you and your advancement and remember, you always have the option to remove yourself from a toxic sitch.  Great luck to you Jenn.

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