Nina S, NYC, USA Hi Gemma, I came across your website though yelp. You got such loving and positive reviews, I'd love to work with you in the future. My question-- I just left a pretty crazy workplace. It was a toxic environment, in particular a tough boss to work with, mostly everyone after a while felt miserable and wanted to leave, it took me a little bit of time though as I had some obligations to fulfill. I worry that I still carry around the negative energy from that time, though I have goals both professional and personal to help me move forward. I was wondering if you might have a forecast on what's to come for me post-crazy job?
Well first let me congratulate you Nina for getting out of anything toxic. Sometimes when we are immersed in such situations it's very hard to see what we are in, so kudos to you.
This is a great question because I think a lot of us walk around after a "toxic experience," not only carrying negativity from it but bringing it into future stuff, souring something that otherwise would have been good. Funny that you happened to mention Yelp in your question. I listed my business there about 2 weeks ago and yes... got very glowing reviews from people who found me there as well. However I started to notice that my reviews started to go missing. Finally it was down to only 2 reviews (from 13.) A good friend of mine came across a discussion board where they were kinda trashing me. At first I was hurt and engaged in battle but then after my initial response I realized that the environment (the discussion board) was toxic (which equates to a useless waste of energy.) My power came from not engaging. From removing myself from it and not getting infected with their toxins. Harder route? Egotistically yes, but ultimately much more powerful. This my friend is what you have done. Your power began when you honored you by removing yourself from it. So as for carrying around negative energy from that experience... recognizing and removing yourself from it is. Now... if you think that you might be carrying around those old toxins, which could directly effect your current sitch and future sitchs as well, the remedy is relatively simple.
Simply ask your HP, to take it from you. As a matter of fact, a great practice is to make that an everyday prayer. Take from me what is not mine. Honestly though it doesn't feel to me like you latched onto or took too much negativity with you. It did however effect a relationship you had while you were working there. A relationship outside of the office. A romantic one. It feels like you were more closed than you would have been had your work environment been different. Understandable because you were trying to protect yourself. It's unfortunate though that we tend to protect ourselves in places we don't need to when we are in a toxic sitch. See we immediately go into survival mode, but in every realm of our life, even though it may only be in one realm that we need to shut down. Our defense mechanism doesn't distinguish one realm from the other They simply know that we need protecting and therefore sometimes we shut down with things we would otherwise choose not to. I'm glad that you are asking this now and looking to rid yourself of old toxins because I will tell you that they would have affected an upcoming relationship (May of this year.) This person you will encounter is a great and loving soul and being closed would have driven them away. So after your prayer, envision yourself with all kinds of luggage from the toxic sitch and then see yourself throwing it ALL away. Affirm that "I will not take old baggage forward with me and I will not allow someone elses toxins to effect my life or anyone elses which could drive others and opportunities away.
Thank god it was only a "job" and not what you aspire to do. It feels like you are split between about 3 or 4 passions all that fit under the same umbrella...You will figure out how they fit together to compliment one another so it's not such an either or decision. THEY just showed me the comedy and tragedy mask so at least one has to do with the theatre or the arts in some way. I don't think the others are very far off or different than the arts. In June you get a "gig," THEIR word...that runs for about 5 months and an overlapping one in September, so don't worry, stuff is coming and by the time it does, your old toxic boss and environment is totally a thing of the past if you so choose.
In the meantime, and listen up here Peeps cause this is good for you to learn to0... Bubble yourself - a simple tool of protection I picked up from Sylvia Browne. Imagine a bubble of your HP's light surrounding you and not allowing anything in but positive in. You can also put a wall of mirrors around you that face outward and picture that anything negative bounces off you and back to where it came from. These are very simple yet very powerful preventative tools to protect you. If you make them a habit, then if you have to ever be around a toxic sitch, which quite honestly I don't see in your path, it won't really effect you. The other thing Nina is to listen to that strong gut instinct you have and if something feels toxic... by any means necessary, get out and away and trust that the HP will always always bring something to you (be it another person or opportunity) that is an upgrade, simply because you have honored you. Great luck to you!
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