PREFACE - So I think amongst other things, I must be working on lessons in vulnerability in my life right now because I am totally realizing just now as I write how difficult it is for me to share un-fun experiences in the moment they are happening as opposed to in retrospect. I say this because I'm having a hell of a time writing this...hmmm definitely something I will look more into... but for that reason I am challenging myself to continue - for some reason i find that sometimes saying i'm scared can make something less scary.
Big deep breath...
Ok so truth be told, in this last couple of weeks, I've pretty much gotten slammed in every realm of my life. Yea... I am definitely going through a really rough time right now. (Wow...it blows me away how hard that is for me to say out loud.) Peeps often think that because of what I do, I get a pass on lessons or that life is easier for me but I can thoroughly assure you that is soooo not true. I too get knocked around by "life's lessons" with no warning. Remember, I can't see my own stuff psychically as it would thwart my journey so I go through exactly what everyone else does. I gotta say though, rough as it is sometimes, I wouldn't want it any other way.
So I finally hit breaking point yesterday when I lay in my bed in tears allowing myself to actually feel the bad, the fear the unsure the "This really sucks," feelings from all that's been going on. I've really grappled with and have had a hard time figuring out how I am supposed to be an example, teach spiritual lessons and still allow myself all the feelings that come along with a "bad situation." How can I be sitting here depressed or angry if I'm supposed to be living a spiritual life? I think because I couldn't figure it out (until now) I'd placed unrealistic expectations upon myself that I'd just look away and not feel anything negative. Yea... gotta say....that didn't work out so well for me... hence yesterday mornings explosion.
The good thing about it is that in between the boos and the hoos, I had a big WhoaMo -ya know, a moment where you are like "ummm whoa."
First I remembered that we are not spiritual human beings but instead human spiritual beings. That is we are spiritual beings that have chosen to be human and that means that I am supposed to have the human experience which includes ALL emotions even sadness and anger. With that, I realized that it is actually more spiritual to allow myself the full human experience then to ever ever try to be above or outside of it. Great relief here because lord knows I feel stuff (I'm a cancer for goodness sake.) So, allowing myself my human experience, I think I ultimately realized that my question isn't should I experience rough times but instead what would make them easier. Ultimately I came to realize there are 3 old school virtues that really can help get you through. I thought you might be interested. Now for any of you who may (like me) have had them crammed down your throat growing up... wait... just stay open...i promise i saw them in a different light yesterday...
What makes all the difference when going through a rough sitch is in one word faith. In other words, 2 peeps could be going through the same thing but if one has faith and the other doesn't, they will surely go through it waaaaaay differently. Simply put faith makes it much easier to weather the storm. So what does that mean? Well first, I know I've said this before but I can't say it enough... faith (like commitment) is not about the "good" times. It's easy to believe (or stay in something) when everything's going the way you think it should. Faith, however, is actually more about the belief that everything is still exactly what it needs to be in the "bad" times.
I'm speaking as a firm believer in the law of attraction. I believe that we create our own realities. As creators, we ask and then the universe complies with our wishes. Think of it like this. The universe (God or whatever you call your HP) has no vested interest other than to grant your desire whatever that is. It places no judgment on anything. It just gets you from point A to point B. So... for example... if you can't stand your job and say I hate this job, I want a new job, I can't wait to be out of here, the universe says, "Your wish is my command," and immediately begins shifting things to bring you what you've asked for, in this case, a new job. If then you lose your job, you may find yourself saying poor me, I lost my job I'm so unlucky, why did that happen to me forgetting that you actually asked for it. Then sometimes fear and the "what if's" set in which could make you turn around and run right back into something that you didn't want in the first place. What does that look like? Taking the first job that comes along even if your gut screams hell no and then replaying the cycle all over again.
Someone with faith on the other hand - sees the shifts happening, in this case losing your job, and knows that this will lead them to what they asked for even if they don't know the universes exact plan. So while the situation may be the same, faith changes your outlook on it. Instead of feeling like this sucks, you feel more like this sucks but I know it's taking me exactly where I need it to because the reality is that things are simply shifting to create space for exactly what I asked for.
Having the foundation of faith can give you incredible hope. It allows us to know that in every situation that sucks, there have to be blessings. Sort of like for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Hope stops us from being so focused on the negative that we don't see the blessings it allows us to flip the script and find a positive in every negative...
- I lost my car... Maybe I am not supposed to be driving right now.
- I'm emotionally broken - look who showed up and unexpectedly supported me.
- I lost my job - this afforded me the opportunity to take care of my sick mother.
- I am in financial bind... look who stepped up and helped me.
- He/She ended it... opens up a window for someone who wants to be there.
- I made a mistake... allows me to learn integrity and experience forgiveness...
Further, hope raises our vibration which brings in what we have asked for even quicker because we are much more in alignment with the vibration we need to be on to receive it.
Sometimes when a situation is un-fun, we fall into a cycle where we replay it over and over trying to make sense of why it's happening and what we can do to fix it or control it and sometimes in all that chaotic head work we forget that we can actually ask for something different or ask for a solution. In continuing to focus on what is happening at the moment we are actually perpetuating that situation. Having faith allowed me to know everything is what it needs to be right now to bring me what i want which gave me hope. Hope allowed me to see the positive side of things and remember that I create my own reality and that I can ask for whatever I want which in turn allowed me to bring in love.
So in that moment when it all hit the fan for me... I literally asked the universe to send me "Solid, tangible, love and support today" to help me through right now. I kid you not... less than an hour later I get a text from an old school GIP who happened to be in NY from California. "What are you doing today Gem? Would love to see you." I jumped on it and invited her over. A little while later, I got randomly inspired to contact some other old school GIP's (one of whom i just happened to hear from a few days ago inviting me to her show.) I asked them all if they wanted to come hang "in the vortex" (that's what we call my living room because spiritual things happen there.) "YES," they all replied. Suddenly there were 6 of us (5 old schoolers who haven't seen each other since 2006) having an impromptu soiree in the vortex. It was as if no time had passed as we sat around catching each other up and of course having our usual amazing spiritual conversations. It was perfectly and exactly what I asked for. All I know is that by the end of the night (which actually ran into the morning) even though I have never doubted that this too shall pass, it has lifted some. (The magic of this is that NONE of them knew what I'm going through or how much I needed them, they just followed their guts...and the beauty of a true friend is that no matter where the road takes you or how long it's been... You still got each other. Thanx guys... mad love!)
SO HERE'S THE DEAL PEEPS... We are ALL going to go through crappy times. We signed up for it. But it's up to us how we go through those times. The old school virtues just like my old school GIP's really can make a difference. I'm a big proponent of keep it simple so if something can make those times easier... I'm all over it.
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