“Gemma, do you know that you have the same gift I do? Do you know that you are both psychic and a medium? You are about to go through a major spiritual transformation. It will be painful, but you will survive it and when you come through it, your gift will be bigger than you can imagine.” I immediately look over at my best bud Tracy who I’m letting listen in on the phone reading I’m getting from Reggie, a psychic I had consulted and I mouth to her, “Oh no…I’m gonna speak to dead people.” Not something that I in any way, shape or form was trying to hear or ever embrace. I had a few experiences with it when I was younger and had no intention of revisiting it. I don’t know why or how I knew that Reggie was insinuating this, I just did. Probably the same way that all my life, I’ve known other stuff before it actually happens. I was totally ok with the psychic part of my gift, but the medium thing… No thank you very much.
In the weeks to come I managed to put it out of my head – although I told THEM (my spiritual committee from the other side that is headed up by my Mom Mary – and no I don’t mean the Blessed Virgin) that under no circumstances was anything to come bump in the night. There would be no flickering of lights or turning of TV’s and/or appliances on and off, no chain rattlings and NO heavenly appearances. I am a big chicken and macho goes straight out the window with the whole ‘dark and stormy night theme.’ Oh yeah and I most definitely slept with a nightlight to boot. As long as THEY understood my rules… we were cool. So time passes with nothing eventful happening and soon I pretty much put the reading out of my head.
“Hospital NOW!” I text Tracy. She calls and immediately asked me, “Are you having an asthma attack?” It took all I had to muster up the strength to say, “yes.”
On the morning of October 14, 2008, after two days of having run out of my asthma medicine, and not having health insurance to refill the prescriptions (don’t get me started on that subject), I experience the worst asthma attack I’ve ever had in my life. As I’m walking into the emergency room at below turtle speed, I black out and the last thing I remember is thinking, “I can’t leave JD (my son) not yet. I can’t die today.” But I gotta tell ya, there was no fear of crossing over at that moment… it was a totally peaceful thought except that I wasn’t going to leave my son yet. Next thing I know I’m being wheeled into the asthma center of New York Methodist Hospital in Brooklyn, New York. They put oxygen on me hook me up to a steroid IV and put me on multiple nebulizer treatments. NOTHING.
“We are going to have to admit you.” WHAT? No way… this is ridiculous… c’mon, cut it out this isn’t funny… you can’t admit me…They wheel me to my room and show me my bed.
The next week, during my stay would prove to be nothing less than life changing. Not only do I quit smoking (a pack a day for 5 years,) but I learn to be totally and completely in every moment. You see time and space don’t really seem relevant when you are in a place of healing – in this case it was a physical place, the hospital, but I think that it also applies to when you are in an emotional place as well. Every moment with every beautiful and some not so beautiful people that I encounter matters and means something. I find messages and signs in everything. I see a much bigger picture to life than how I (and I’d dare to say most of us) live it. I don’t “sweat the small stuff." (Great book, btw.)
My room becomes the party room. There is a constant flow of my crazy, wonderful perfectly imperfect friends who knowing I am a bit of a germ-a-phobe when it comes to food. They time their visits so as to bring me outside vittles on a regular. Honestly, I created my stay to be a first class experience. I met so many wonderful and nurturing staff members and I had as good a time as one can… while being in a hospital.
“The world looks different to me Lish,” I tell Lisha, one of my G.I.P’s (Gemma Important People, aka the inner circle) who came to get me from the hospital when I was discharged. “We all have it backwards. We rush to get where we are “supposed” to be and we move slow to get to where we really want to be. It’s all backwards. We can choose. We can choose the life we want but we are so busy living in the “supposed to” that we aren’t choosing what we want.”
Sitting at brunch with Lisha, I notice that all my senses are heightened; My eyes are sensitive to the light, I can seemingly hear everything… I can smell the food 10 tables away and I feel very, very jumpy like I can feel everything. I’m hyper-sensitive to everything around me. I spend the next few days at home healing, expecting my senses to go back to normal, but they don’t. Instead they get sharper and more sensitive. And then… I start feeling like someone is there when to the physical eye, they aren’t. I swing around expecting to see my son behind me, because I feel someone, and there is nothing. I see flashes and shadows out of the corner of my eye and jump.
Ok…Ok Committee… apparently you were not listening…no scary… no dark and stormy night. If we are going to work together, it has to be in a way that doesn’t make me pee myself or jump out of my skin. EPIPHANY! At that moment I realize that I have a say in this whole thing so what the heck I’ll give it a try ON MY TERMS!! That night, Tracy’s mom is the first to come to/through me. It is the absolute most gentle and loving interaction I’ve ever had with another energy. And so it begins… my communication with those who I lovingly refer to as my “Speople” (Gem-ism for spirit people – those who have crossed over.) In the past year I have come to fully embrace my gift and have learned how to use it to benefit others. I am now ready to share it. I also have a lot of spiritual thoughts and my life seems to be tied together by one spiritual experience to another.
My blog will be a space to chat about any and all things spiritual... from delving into deep topics like what it means to have faith and what happens when we die to cool little spiritual moments/experiences that are guaranteed to happen to me along the way, to even posing “What would u do?” or “What do u think about?” questions and getting your feedback so that I too can learn from you.
So c’mon people…hop aboard my magic carpet and take a ride with me. Let the games begin!!!