Thank you all so much for your beautiful words, prayers and support regarding my brother Vinny's death.  It really meant a lot to me.  And thank you to those who have written in to say that I need to start writing again.  I definitely needed that message. To be perfectly honest, the idea of writing has been anything but enticing to me and I admit that I am having a hard time writing this post right now. Reason being is that I always want to be honest with you guys so I couldn't just come back and not say anything about Vinny, or the situation but at the same time, I'm not at all thrilled to rehash it.

Ya know it's funny, you'd think with my being a medium and talking to dead peeps everyday for others, that death in my world would be relatively easy for me to deal with.  From a logical, higher place, I suppose maybe it is (and moreso if it's a natural one.)  But truth be told, losing a loved one just straight up sucks.  Living in this physical world, we want them here physically.  Period end of story.  While it is somewhat comforting to know that we all go on in spirit after physical death, it's hard for us to truly understand that concept.  It therefore does very little to quell the pain of not being able to interact with them physically any more, so like I said, for us, it sucks.

That being said, I am happy to say that Vinny made it safely to the other side.  My mother showed me that THEY have him.  I'm not going to lie, the road ahead for him will not be an easy one as he must still deal with all the issues he wanted to escape in this physical world.  I will keep sending him love and healing energy from this side to support him in his journey as I hope all of you will as well.

Suicide is not an easy subject and to be perfectly honest, I'm in the process myself of learning more about it from my guides.  I don't ever believe in brushing things under the rug just because society considers them taboo or inappropriate to discuss.  So in perfect Gemma form, I'm going to talk about it.  Suicide is real.  I've already lost two peeps to it and many of us are affected by it and/or contemplate it on a daily basis, so let's shine a light on it.

Ok, so from what I understand at this point (and when I get more info, I will share it) suicide is handled differently from natural death on the other side as it is considered a "breach of contract."  See, when we decide to come into this physical existence, we make a contract with our self, our higher power and with others to come here for a certain amount of time, to do certain things, play certain roles to others etc.  Committing suicide is opting out of those contracts.  This not only affects the person who commits suicide, but many others as well. For every choice, there comes circumstances with it and the choice of suicide brings with it a slew of circumstances that are everything opposite from what many who make that choice are searching for.

I have spoken to many people who have contemplated suicide and common reasons they have given are:  They can't deal with their situation or circumstances in life, they are tired and just want to be done already, they want peace in their lives and can't find it, or a loved one has crossed over and they want to be with them because they can't fathom life without them.  What I explain to them (as it has been explained to me) is that by ending their physical life, they are not in any way getting rid of the issues, pain, stress or anything else that has plagued them in their physical existence.  In fact, they are just adding more to their plate.  Not only will they still have to deal with all the issues they thought they were escaping, but on top of that, they will have to acknowledge and accept the pain they've caused their loved ones here in the physical world by ending their life.

Suicide is never the easy way out. To be brutally honest, for those that think that they will cross over, magically find peace, be reunited with those they lost and simply live happily ever after, it's not like that, not at all.  Instead they go directly into a healing center (which we here would equate to something like a rehab facility) to allow them to work through stuff.  So while my mom absolutely showed me that she had Vinny in her arms when he crossed, he was brought immediately to the healing center where he will be for quite some time. He will have to work through all the issues he was trying to escape here and ultimately accept that he broke his contract with himself and with many others.

Once all of that work is done, he will be ready to watch his life review. (I will do a separate more detailed blog post about "life reviews," because I feel they are way too important to cover in two lines.)  Most of us will have our "life review" upon crossing over but suicides are not ready to deal with them at that point.  So once he works through his issues, he will then be ready to have his review.  Once he has his review, he will come back to the physical plane (probably not in our life time - like I said, he has a long road ahead of him) to live out his contracts in another physical life.  I wish that I could say that it's all good for him (and everyone else that chose suicide) but like I said before it is so not the easy way out.

LISTEN UP PEEPS - If you are someone who has lost someone to suicide, I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain and I thoroughly understand your anger.  Allow yourself whatever you need to get through it and send your loved one love and healing energy for their journey.

If you are someone who is contemplating suicide, please don't.  I promise you it's not the easy way out and issues won't go away just because your physical life has.  You matter more than you know.  Please, reach out to someone right now and tell them you need help dealing with your troubles and if they don't hear you, go to someone else.  If you feel like you have no one, see the info below.  What is shitty today may not be as bad tomorrow or the next day.  There is a solution.  Even if you can't see that solution right now, someone else may be able to.  Please, ask for help.

(For my US peeps call) 1-800-273-8255

 (For my international peeps click) International Crisis Centers

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