Many of you have written in to me (which I love) asking me advice about how to handle your children's psychic gifts. First of all, as a mom myself, I have a lot of respect for you and want to totally commend you all on reaching out. It's a very loving thing to do for your kids as opposed to telling them that it's their imagination or to cut it out or something of the like out of your own fear. My son also has the gift so I get how difficult and frustrating it can be to see them go through stuff that is gift related and want to help them figure it all out. I've taken a trip back to my childhood to search for answers for you on what could have made it easier for me. I think understanding the different aspects of the gift and how to work with them will shed some light. EMPATHING
I was always accused of being moody when I was a kid which used to really piss me off because somewhere inside I knew I wasn't. Not being able to articulate what was happening only made me seem even more moody. It was and still is something called empathing. Empathing, in a nutshell comes from the word empathy and means literally feeling other peoples feelings (emotional and physical.) I think everyone is empathic to some degree but those of us with the gift are especially empathic which can often times make us feel totally outside ourselves and even a little crazy. Empaths tend to be very sensitive not just emotionally but also to physical things. I always wear sunshades, even on cloudy days. I can smell things it seems a mile away and smells affect my moods big time, so if something doesn't smell good I can get very cranky. My hearing is ridiculously keen especially when I'm doing my spiritual work and I have what I call a very large touch bubble meaning at times I don't like people very near me at all. We need our physical space and don't like to feel like someone is infringing on it physically or energetically unless we've invited them to. I don't have to be near someone to feel their energy as if they are physically touching me, so when someone actually does touch me it is very heightened. It took me years to get used to being hugged because i am so sensitive to energy.
I also recall that I was very jumpy as a kid. Empathing energies meant that I just naturally felt (still do feel) things more intensely so if a spirit came out of nowhere, as they can, and I saw them or even just felt them (which can be even scarier) I'd damn near jump out of my skin... I actually still do sometimes (My friends often joke that I'm a walking contradiction... I speak to dead people but am the biggest scaredy cat you'll ever meet.) Watch your child for sudden mood changes when either their environment changes or the people in a specific environment change. Try to correlate their moods to people they are directly in contact with if their mood suddenly changes. I could be in the best mood ever and if someone funky comes in or texts, calls or is sometimes even mentioned to me for that matter, my mood can immediately spin. It can be very frustrating as a kid and even more as a teen to not feel like yourself and not have any idea why. Check out my post called EMPATHING 101 for some tips on what to do to lessen the effects of empathing. Oh, also, hormones definitely make empathing stronger so buckle up because puberty and periods heighten everything including empathing... ahhhh yes...good times.
BUMP IN THE NIGHT
As a kid I was totally afraid of night time and the dark (still kinda am) which may be symptoms your kids show. There is a good reason for this. It's easier to see spirits in the dark and at night time especially around 3AM when the air is more moist. Remember, spirits are energy and energy travels easier in a moist atmosphere especially when there is other energy (like lightning) present. This by the way is why scary movies usually happen on a "dark and stormy night." Spirits are easier to see in the dark (especially in a storm when energy is in the form of lightning is in the air) and also in candle light. Artificial light makes them disappear which is why I wanted the hall light outside my bedroom on when I was a kid, so a nightlight can be very helpful.
OK so let's talk about visions and psychic moments. All mediums - those who communicate with speople (spirit people) are psychic but not all psychics are mediums. In other words if your child has the gift of knowing the future it doesn't necessarily mean that she/he can speak to dead people but if they can speak to dead people, they can see the future. So if your child has the gift, then they will at some point probably start to "read" people. It will probably manifest in normal conversation and they will feel like it's information that everyone knows because it is so natural to them. The thing here is to teach them the ethics that come along with this gift so that they are notWhen i was a teenager and my friends would say I like so and so or I think I will go to the prom with him/her, I'd be like no you aren't, he/she is going to ask so and so. Often times they would just stare at me which confused me because I thought the things I knew were obvious to everyone. When the prediction came to pass, my peers were like WHOA. I remember one girl asking me angrily, "What are you like a witch or something? How'd u know that?" That made me very self conscious because I didn't know how I knew and often didn't like that I knew because I felt weird and exposed and somehow responsible. I didn't want to feel different, no teenager does. So I started to hide my gift with each comment but my final straw was when I demanded in the middle of a sleepover at a friends (at midnight) that I be driven home"knowing" I had to be there for my mom for some reason. Her dad drove me home disgruntly reminding me all the way home that I was acting out and that this type of behavior was unacceptable. I didn't care... I knew I had to be home but as a teen, not knowing why, I was pissed off. I found my mom on the floor having a stroke the next morning and was able to call 911 before the phone line went dead from the huge snow storm we were having. Final straw... I shut my gift down. It's very normal for your child to want nothing to do with their gift and actually be annoyed with it.
SPIRITS vs GHOSTS
I came up with the word speople (spirit people) because it made it easier to accept my gift if I made it "user friendly." When I think of spirits, I think of hollywood stuff and it scares me. But when I think of them as spirit people who aren't coming to hurt me, I'm definitely much less scared. Now...parents and caretakers, it's important to know the difference between spirits (speople) and ghosts (earthbounds.) A speople (spirit) is fully entact and comes for a purpose. It's an entity that has crossed into the light and is just coming back for a visit, to help or give a message. My mother is crossed over and comes to see me all the time. A ghost (an earthbound) is someone that dies but doesn't go into the light usually because they feel unworthy to cross or because they feel like they have unfinished business on earth. I want to make it clear so I don't cause a mass freakout, that t people cross over with ease, and that it is pretty rare for someone to stick around as an earthbound.
AURAS, CHAKRAS and COLORS
I see colors in a different way than a lot of people. I can discern colors that others may not readily see. Colors are feelings to me. Auras are made up of colors. Personally, I choose not to physically see auras because I feel like it would be too distracting to me. Instead I've learned to simply associate a color with a person or a speople (spirit people) and the colors are ever changing so today may be a red feeling or a lack of red and tomorrow a yellow. Chakras are also represented by colors and connected to auras. If your child claims they see swirling or moving color, they are probably seeing aura's of speople. An awesome way to take away some of the scary in this is if together you and your child have a cool time learning about auras, chakras and colors.
My gift was never fully explained to me. I grew up in a hella Catholic household during the 70's and 80's. It was very helpful that my mom seemed to know I was "different" from the other six kids and although we never actually spoke directly about my gift until right before she died she did things to make me feel more comfortable about my being so "sensitive."
She never shot me down when I would predict things or say I saw someone in my room. She would simply and soothingly hold me and make me feel safe when I would come flying out of my room and bounding down the stairs pale faced because I'd seen or felt a spirit. She never made me feel bad for wanting the hall light on even and especially through my teenage years. Another thing that is very helpful is what you all already seem to be doing (being that you have reached out to me) which is acknowledging that this is real and letting your kids talk about it and listening. I didn't dare speak about what I was experiencing for fear that old school catholic beliefs might punish or exorcise me for being dark or a devil worshiper or something evil (especially after being called Jezebel when I was kicked out of catholic school in the 10th grade.)
LISTEN UP (parent/caretaker) PEEPS... The bottom line is, the more you learn about the metaphysical world, the more information you have so the less scary and easy it will be for everyone involved. The most important thing is to understand that as a kid and especially as a teen you already feel like a freak at times. Your child probably won't see this as "a gift" until they are grown and they may not even then. It's their journey! They have to feel in control of their gift and deem what works for them and what doesn't. Let them know that they are in charge and that they can talk to their spirit guides and their higher power and set the rules by saying this works for me and this doesn't, or I'm scared... make it less scary. I have a very strict rule about THEM coming in my bedroom and showing up in the middle of the night... it sounds something like this, "HELL NO! You can't! EVER!!!" And like anything else that's new or scary to them, make your child feel safe and secure about turning to and talking to you about it at anytime and keep reminding them that they are not alone in this and that you've got their back.
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