I remember being about 13ish, sitting along side my mom in the passenger seat of her car with two of my friends sitting in the back seat. We were sitting at a light and a girl that one of my friends couldn't stand was crossing the street. One friend said, "What a dog, look at her she's so ugly," to which my other friend agreed and I laughed. My mom very calmly said to us, "Hey guys, I know a lot of people have the habit of making comments like that but I have to be honest here, there is nothing at all cute or cool about it. The friend that didn't make the comment very quickly tried to pitch the one that said it under the proverbial bus. "That wasn't me Mrs. Deller," she brown nosed," I continued to crack up. "But it was," Mom said back, "It was you because you agreed," she said turning to me, who was still chuckling, and finished with, "And it was you too because you laughed." We all got silent. She continued, "Nothing positive comes from negative girls, so please from this moment on, if you don't have something good to say, say nothing at all." I don't know why, but that phrase has stuck with me through the years. And even though I'm not perfect and I fall into negative speak from time to time, I always hear mom's words when I do.
As I walked around earlier today, I took her advice a step further. In hearing random conversations and comments, I realized many people speak negatively without even knowing it. That is, they don't even realize they are speaking negatively. I sometimes refer to it as the good ole bitch-n-moan. It sounds something like this... "It's cold." "Everyone is sick I'm just waiting for my turn." "Let's see how long it takes them to plow these streets this time?" "This light is taking forever." Oh and my favorite - to a 2 year old (who only has like 10 inch high legs and is walking with heavy boots in slushy icy snow, "Hurry up, you are so slow."
Wow, It blows me away how this is considered conversation. Ummm... NEWSFLASH... It's not, it's complaining, which is negative. And whether you know it or not, your negative speak is putting out a negative vibe which will then bring negative things and experiences into your reality. I then thought to myself, maybe if people were more aware that what they are saying is as negative as the comment my friend made years ago, and that this negative speak will only bring them negative things and experiences, I bet they would start checking the negative things they say. This brought me to the next part...
For just one whole day, try to say NOTHING negative.
Not an attack, not a comment, not a complaint, not even a sigh of disapproval. If you make negative speak a habit then I think you will be surprised at how lost for words you will find yourself. Now, this may be very uncomfortable at first because there may be a lot more silence than you are used to, which can tend to feel uncomfortable. I suggest that you try to be OK in the silence or, if you find that you simply must fill the silence, fill it with a positive comment or observation instead. Hopefully you will like how it feels to ex out the negative speak and you will continue this practice for more than just one day.
LISTEN UP PEEPS - If you want more positive in your life, you have to be more positive and your speak is a huge part of that. The more positive you speak, the more positive the vibe you will put out and as a result positive things and experiences will come to you. So, like Mom said, "If you don't have something good to say..."
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