"That's all you're wearing Gem?" I know she is referring to my zip-up hoodie and the fact that it's only like 44 degrees outside. Granted, it's not as cold as it has been in the past couple of days, but it's certainly not the balmiest of days either. "Yep... that's all I got," I reply. Dammit, I should have gotten that blue peacoat that I talked myself out of about 2 months ago when I convinced myself (from a total place of lack) that I should use the 85 bucks on something else. I shrug it off though, because I'm in a really good mood and I don't want to mess it up. "Its a new year, it's not freezing out, I'm walking in great company and I have amazing plans for this evening. Life is better than it has been in a long time," I remind myself.She interrupts my thoughts with, "Let's go in there," pointing to a thrift shop. My chest tightens and tons of fearful thoughts race through my head... As much as I like thrift shops, all that energy from peoples stuff will jack me up. That will mess up the day. They won't have my size. That will feel terrible. We are running late. (That was just not true, we weren't running late at all, but one negative, irrational thought leads to another.)
I feel panicked and anxious. Fear is so funny. Most of the time it doesn’t make sense at all, and if we could only disconnect ourselves and think rationally about it, we’d clearly see that. But in that moment, we get immersed and it feels as real as the nose on our face. I just want to shut it all down and say, "Hell no, I refuse to step foot in there and mess up my awesome day and you're not going to make me." But then a tiny, and I mean tiny, voice... I call it a shushper (because it's quieter than a whisper) says, "Do not resist."
Resist? I'm not resisting. I know myself, that's all, I try to convince myself because the notion of all those negative thoughts being true makes me feel so uncomfortable and anxious. My heart is racing and I want to crawl out of my skin and the more I replay what a bad idea this is in my mind; All the energy and they won't have my size etc, the worse the panic is getting. But there's that shushper again. "Do not resist." "
Grrrrrrrrr!!! "Fine, I will go in there just to prove to her that I will get all energetically messed up and everything will be way too small and that I knew it ," the bratty 12 year old in me thinks. Honestly, the fear is so intense that the most I can do to not resist is simply to not be adamant about being right. And even if I have to play a little ego head game of, "I will show you," it gets me to follow her into the store which is less resistant than just saying no.
Once inside, as expected, I definitely feel a ton of energy coming from all the stuff, which makes me itchy. I know that focusing on the energy will only make it worse so I decide to focus elsewhere. Ok, so the store is huge and full of a lot of pretty cool stuff. I decide that since I'm in here, I might as well have a look so I proceed to the cluster of coat racks that are fully stocked. "Hmmm, ok well this is nice, oh and this one, well and this one and..." "Try one on," she barges in. (Ok, I'm sure she only nicely suggested it but it wells up some fear in me again so it feels like a barge.) "Grrrrrrr," I think... "This is where it all gets ruined. This is where I will find out that they don't have my size and i will feel terrible for the rest of the day. Ok fine, here's where I prove it to you," I think as I disgruntily slide one arm in, then the other...
HOLY CRAP IT FITS!
It's like that moment in the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy opens the door and everything turns to color. In that instant, ALL, and I mean every bit, of my resistance just melts away. Now I'm buck wild. Going through those racks and coat after coat is fitting and now I've gone from I won't find anything to knowing that I will definitely find something, and I have so many choices. Which will I choose, the green one, the brown one, no maybe the black. Now I'm stressing in a wonderful way and oh, have I mentioned, that all of the coats are only $20 and $25 each. "This is amazing," I think to myself. "This can't get any better." And then, it did. There it was. In one magical second, I learn how resistance is my enemy as I stand there staring at the exact same Navy Peacoat as I had talked myself out of a few months ago and yup, you guessed, it was the only one and it was in my size.
STUNNED! I remov it from the rack, try it on and it's as if it is made just for me. We smile at each other and I realize that in my excitement I havn't even looked at the price. I felt a nano second of fear again, but at this point, I'm feeling so good that I knew that the price will be perfectly in keeping with the rest of the experience. The universe doesn't lead you to anything for no reason. I find the tag and better than I had imagined, see $15.00.
"That's amazing," She exclaims. And you know what? She says... Today it's my treat. WHOA... Incredible. In this moment I realize that this is so much more than just about me getting a winter coat. This is about how to work through resistance to allow great things and experiences into my life. How to let the Universe lead me and how not to let fear ever control things.
LISTEN UP PEEPS... All you need to do is lessen your resistance to something just a tiny bit and allow the Universe to take it from there. You don't have to be completely fearless all the time. Now we are human, so fear will definitely creep in, but just don't let it paralyze you. In that moment, try to lessen the resistance just a little tiny bit and that will lead to a little more then a little more and so on. Remember that a thought, whether negative or positive, will produce more of those same types of thoughts, so that's where your power to lessen the resistance is, choose better feeling thoughts.
Also, don't be a "know it all," or force things which many of us are guilty of because we are trying to get some control over something in our lives. Forcing and knowing it all are extremely resistant and are a sure way of shooting yourself in the foot. Instead leave even just an inch of room to not know something or to see what happens and that inch will lead to another and another and will add up to allow the universe to take over.
Finally remember, the Universe, our Speople and our Guides, have a much greater and broader perspective of things than we do and THEY love to lead us to what we have asked for quickly and directly. So even if it doesn't make sense to you (and believe me, often times it won't) it doesn't mean it's not happening, we just have a limited scope. Lessening the resistance will definitely assist in the quicker more direct route.