This post is inspired and dedicated to one of the most beautiful individuals I've met in this lifetime.  I'm better for having known you.  Happy Birthday!

They sat on a bench together looking out at the East River on the Brooklyn side.  The Brooklyn Bridge, so big yet unobtrusive.  It was late afternoon and the water rippled as the boats went by.  The light drizzle didn't bother them.  Happy and in love.  More than either had ever been before.  They knew this kind of love existed, but somehow, when it came, it seemed surreal.  But nothing had ever felt more right to either one of them.  Soulmates, no doubt.  Each an individual but somehow completing one another at the same time.  Mash potatoes and gravy they joked.  They sat on that bench that day one laying safely in the arms of the other.  They sat for a good long while.

A moment of insecurity flooded in and the one laying in the others arms looked up with the most beautiful green hazel eyes and asked in a whisper, "Is this real?".  The other got lost in those eyes.  Lost in a depth and a spiritual connection that cannot be described.  "Is this real?" the voice demanded now both afraid and impatient, "Tell me this is real; that I'm not dreaming this and that we will spend our lives together."  The other stared back, for a while.  That face...rendered temporarily speechless by such a rare beauty that only shines from the inside out, the other finally replied  "Yes my love, this is real and yes we will be together.  Their eyes locked and in that moment there was a sad knowing.  Maybe not for one but definitely for the other.  A knowing of the trials that they were yet to endure.  A knowing felt heart and soul deep.  A knowing that compelled the other to plea, "If ever you doubt this or us... come back here to this bench (in your head) and find me.  Bring yourself right back to this place, to this moment and hold our vision and I will too and no matter what, we will always find each other.  They sat there quietly for a good while in the peace of each others love knowing that this was the way love's supposed to be.

Naturally these soulmates went on to live happily ever after for 50 plus years of bliss right?  What if I told you that they actually went there separate ways?  What if I told you that because one still had work to do and the other knew to honor and respect that, that these two perfectly compatible soulmates did the unimaginable.  As incredibly painful as it was, in the purest display of unconditional love, for both themselves and  each other, these two chose the harder healthier road; As one said goodbye to get "whole,"  the other said goodbye to honor that.  And they went their separate ways each taking a little piece of the others heart away with them.

When I finally awoke from that horrible nightmare, I felt numb, stunned by what I'd just experienced quietly and desperately hoping that the words spoken that day on that bench would never be forgotten by either.

"If ever you doubt this or us... come back here to this bench and find me.  Bring yourself right back to this place, to this moment and hold our vision and I will too and no matter what, we will always find each other."

I replayed it a few times in my head, the numb turned into the deepest sadness in my soul.  I often wish when I go back to sleep at night that I will re-dream it and there will be a different ending but so far that hasn't happened so if for nothing else, it's a lesson that I hope we all learn from, I sure know I will.

So many of you write in to me (which btw I love) asking what I and the Speople say about "Meeting your soulmate."  So it was pretty obvious that I had to share this tragic nightmare with you.  The big message peeps... BE READY!!!  And truth be told, that goes for anything (work, personal, anything) in your life that you want.... You gotta be ready!  You gotta do the work and by that I mean on yourself.  If you are not willing to work on yourself and get yourself to a place where you are for the most part, "whole," your relationship(s) are guaranteed to be a hot buttered mess.

Further, when considering every relationship in your life... and I mean EVERY (not just romantic), ask yourself, "What is this doing to me."  Is this bettering me or worsening me.  Is this bringing me closer to my authentic self or further away.  Do I like who I am as a result of this relationship?  Who am I becoming by having/keeping this person/people in my life?  These are the important questions, not "What am I doing for them?" that is up to them to ask.  Remember, you can't save or fix someone else.  That is not, nor will it ever be your job or in any way benefit you.  It's a blatant disservice to both of you.  Fixing and growing yourself is in and of itself a total lifetime commitment, by trying to do it for someone else, you are taking away from both yours and their journeys.  DOUBLE VIOLATION!

Listen up peeps...WORK ON YOU, PERIOD!!!  FIX YOU, PERIOD!!! SAVE YOU, PERIOD!!!  Be ready so that when opportunities (whether in love or another realm) show up, not only will you seize them but you will be able to benefit fully from them.  I'm not saying you won't meet your soulmate, but if one or both isn't ready, I promise you that there will definitely be an imbalance and some pain.  You may even choose to stay together but trust me it will be spiritually draining for one if not both.  True love is never supposed to kick your ass or diminish your spirit flame and it won't if you come to it clean and prepared.  So do your work now.  Clean your crap up so you don't spill your sloppy onto someone you claim to "love."  And if you have done the work, please don't ever settle.  Make sure you choose someone who has also done their work and comes to the table clean and with limited baggage so you don't get dragged into their crap and can simply live "happily ever after."

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