STFU

"If you don't have something positive to say, don't say anything..." This was one of my mom's favorite things to say to me growing up. Mom, I love you, and this is still great advice, but you always said to be me and, well, I'm just a bit more "passionate" and to the point than you were so I say...

If you don't have something positive to say, STFU (Shut the F%&* Up!)

Words can be damaging and it's high time that we all take responsibility for what we say and how we say it. I promise you that there are definite long term affects of negative speak. How many of us were raised being told, "You're so       Insert insult here     !" Or "You can never      Insert dream here     ," etc. And how many of us still believe those things.

When JD (my fabulouS son) was 15, he started high school.  Always being a great athlete, he joined the football team announcing that he wanted to be the quarterback.  He was met with great opposition. Most quarterbacks are very tall and he hadn't yet had his growth spurt, so by standards he was short for the position.  The coach in particular was very, very negative about this and gave him a really hard time, continually reminding him that he was "way too short to be a quarterback."

One day, he came home really disheartened and told me he was thinking of giving up. That was it... Now I was pissed.  I wanted to go directly to that coach, put my finger in his face and tell him to STFU! See, I made and active decision when JD was born, not only to support him in anything he wanted to do, but to constantly remind him, "You can do anything you set your mind to and back up with work." And now here is this negative Nelson, in an influencial position in his life, knocking him down.

HELL NO! I had to do something. I told JD to get into my jeep and we drove straight to The Home Depot. To be honest, I didn't know exactly what I was going to do, but I knew something had to be done. I remembered a previous conversation where JD had described some contraption that helps perfect a person's aim. It was sort of like a swingset frame with four ropes attached to it, each attaching to a tiny tire that was suspended in the middle.

I decided we had to build one. It's amazing how anger can make you able to do something you've never done before. Hell if I didn't become a master carpenter that afternoon. JD spent hours during his off season throwing the ball from great distances through that tiny hole and not only did he become starting quarterback, but for the Varsity team.

I'm so tired of witnessing people, on a daily, randomly spewing negatives like it's no big deal. Parents to their kids, when they are frustrated by them, or overwhelmed by their own life situation. Doctors to patients, when they tell them stuff like, "Your situation looks bleak," or "You only have 6 months to live." Teachers to students, when they feel out of control. Partners to each other in the name of being right. It's NOT ok and I'm here to say to all of you... STFU!

Your words are doing damage; damage that can last years and even life times. Even  if you stop saying them or only say them once, sometimes the person who they are said to will continue to say them to themselves. For visual proof, check out MASARU EMOTO's RICE EXPERIMENTto see how damaging your words really can be.

LISTEN UP PEEPS: As Don Miguel Ruiz said in his book The Four Agreements, "Be impeccible with your word." You are always responsible for what comes out of your mouth and for the affects it has on others, so be responsible and take a moment of pause to think before you speak. Whether you can see it or not, negative words causes damage to others and that's not cool.

Words become thoughts. Thoughts become beliefs.  Beliefs become realities. It's that simple. What comes around goes around, and that negativity will in some way come back to you. So, on behalf of every kid that deserves to be told, "You can," every patient who is scared and needs hope and every person who needs love and support, do us all a favor...

If you don't have something positive to say STFU!

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