THE TRUTH ABOUT CREATION:A Red Fleece Pillow Reminded Me Who I Am

2017 kicked my ass BIG TIME!  It did for a bunch of us! I think it was supposed to. We are in a great time of transition bringing the planet from an age of darkness (forgetting who we truly are) into an age of enlightenment (remembering.) Believe it or not many of us have actually chosen to be here during this crazy time, to help create a bridge to help others during the transition. Of course when we made the decision to come, on the Other Side, a place of total joy and inspiration, we didn't have a dang care in the world so like child birth or a toothache, the grueling ass-whooping that the earth experience pretty much guarantees was but a distant memory, so we eagerly said, "I'm in... sign me up." There, we solidly knew who we are and what we were coming to do, once here though, we forgot and most of us are only now just remembering, sometimes as a result of a year like 2017 and a sometimes from making a pillow. 

A red fleece pillow. I'd been thinking about making a big red fleece pillow for a while. Ever since I stayed at my cousins in Philly and the bed had these super soft light blue fleece sheets. I just loved how they felt, so snuggly, like I was on a big cloud. Now the pillow idea came because I don't have a headboard, I always thought I hated the idea of a headboard until recently when I've been reconsidering the idea. How often do we totally convince ourselves of something until we actually try it... Its so crazy. For some reason I was adamantly opposed to headboards for no good reason. Well, until I recently slept over a friends and the bed had one. I accidentally bumped my head and it was such a happy accident that it made me think, "Now why don't I like these things? I think because my ex didn't. 🤔  Probably time to rethink that." But I digress.


The red fleece pillow. So it took time to figure out the perfect dimensions of the pillow. See that's what I've been learning, creation takes time, and trials and that's ok, it's actually good. And while we all act like we are ok with that, it's total bullshit, we're not. Most of us HAAAAAATE it. We are so used to instant and fast, well, everything, that we don't appreciate the idea of a process anymore. Back in the day (I won't even go back to bread baking and butter churning) people actually used to write with a pen on paper, seal it in and envelope, find out someone's address and write it on the envelope,  put a stamp on it, put it in the mail box and then... HOLY CRAP... wait a few days, maybe even a week before it got to the other party and then, wait for a response back.

This was normal and nobody died waiting. Now, it's unheard of. One click of a button and your mail is sent and delivered in seconds. NOW Don't get me wrong, I'm guilty as anyone. I love technology.  But let's be real, it comes with a price. We have all learned the art of impatience. I mean sure a lot of us walk around spewing buzz phrases like, "Be mindful," and "It's about the journey, not the destination," and "Be in the moment," yeah, ok.... OHHHHHHM... Until someone puts your ass on hold for more than 3 minutes or your order takes more than 10 minutes to get prepared and you wild out. Oh, and if you are a New Yorker like me, cut that time in half. Well, creation takes time. When you plant a seed, it doesn't instantly grow. And the red fleece pillow decided to teach me that.

It got off to a pretty slow start because first I downsized my bed from a King size to much smaller . I've gone pretty minimal in the last year. Not for any spiritual purposes, so please, don't martyr or pedestal me like that. I'm no Ghandi/Jesus AT ALL! Let's just say for a mixture of energetic and spacial reasons I'm currently test driving a smaller model for a minute 😬 . So, while making moves and downsizing, I put off making the pillow.

Once I knew the size of the bed, I needed to consider and lock down the height of the pillow. I went back and forth between this height and that height, higher, no lower, no higher, no lower. I gotta admit there were times in there when I got irrationally frustrated and was like, "How many times can I tell the Universe I want this pillow, yet I still don't have it?"  Hind sight is 20/20 right?  Dang... Do you also blame the  Universe for not bringing something, even though you are waffling back and forth between things. Ok picture this. You go to the store. I tell you I will text you my order. I text you orange juice, no, wait, apple juice, no, wait, orange juice, no, wait, apple, no, wait... What do you bring me back? Let me just say you are lucky that I'm not the Universe because I'd be like, "Girl/Boy Bye"... POWER OFF! The Universe, on the other hand, will patiently wait until you figure it out what you want by giving it your attention and then it will support that, but it's up to you to choose (remember that whole little free will thing.)

So, finally I decided and I figured out what I wanted. How? Well the Universe will also help you out if you let it. I was staying with a friend who loaned me her big body pillow and guess what? Yep, it was literally the perfect, exact fit. I took measurements and from there the momentum of the Universe kicked up a thousand. See, once you have your focus on lock, once you have really sculpted the aspects of something (whether it be a job, a partner, a home, a trip, a car, a pillow) the speed picks up like crazy. That's the most key part though, and unfortunately the part most blow glaze over like it doesn't matter. That's where all the creation work happens though, in the sculpting, in the crafting.. Remember creation takes time and trials and not just physical trials. It starts in the thoughts, in the imagination, in the visualization of it. That's where the seed is planted. That's where it first must be nurtured by you. That's where you first start to sculpt and craft and mold it way before you see any physical manifestation of it. That's why when anyone comes to me and says I need money to do this or that, I tell them you don't need a penny to create. Money will come as a result of the seed that you plant but you gotta plant the seed first and that doesn't cost a thing.

Well that got me thinking. Does it always have to take months to be a purposeful creator. Hell no it does not. My world, my way. Free will right? What it does mean though, is that if I have an idea (a seed) if I want to create something, I must turn most of my attention to it. I have to first figure out the aspects of it, what I want it to look like, and especially feel like when I experience it, how I want it to be. Not some general, "you know," "sort of," "ish" description. I should never assume that the Universe just knows. That would be like going on Amazon and saying I want a hat, ya know, a hat. No! I need to place my specific order. And if I don't know then I need to use the world as a living catalog to figure it out. That's my work. Then once I know what I want, I need to hardcore focus on it and believe I can have it. A laser focus like when you can't get something or someone out of your head, usually the stuff that stresses or worries you, that kind of (almost obsessive) focus and not let anyone shake it or make me doubt it. Once I have locked down the aspects, the picture of it will becomes more and more clear, like the pillow. I knew it was a red fleece pillow that would run the entire width of the bed. I knew how tall it would be and that it would be super packed so it would be sturdy and supportive like a headboard.


That picture led to another idea that just randomly popped into my head, which often times will happen (like attracts like after all.) Why not buy a fitted sheet set and use the flat sheet (which I never use anyway) to make the pillow case and then I will have a whole fleece set. That's another dope thing, as creation momentum builds, ideas will just come, it's like the Universe plays along with you and your creation gets bigger and better. Now I was on a mission. I ordered the set. It came in 2 days. I found an old flat sheet that I wasn't using to use as the underneath pillow which I would stuff with pillows (not stuffing... why ever make it harder than it needs to be?) I sat down at my sewing machine and the rest should have been a breeze right?


C'mon... Have we learned nothing? Didn't I say creation was a process. Well, sometimes that process gets ugly. And it was about to. See it had been quite some time since I'd used the machine so let's just say I was rusty, real real rusty. Ok fine, it was like I'd never ever touched a sewing machine in my life. Poor poor Singer, got cursed out relentlessly for hours. I didn't know I had that kind of stamina. What did I learn? Well... I learned that everything on a sewing machine definitely has a purpose, it's not just there for decoration. You can't just "wing it." Sewing machine's DO NOT believe in free will, they have rules, very very very strict ass rules. They do not remotely respond to cursing or mean speak, in fact they really don't care much about your feelings at all, one bit. So, I took a break, I needed one. I meditated (honestly only out of desperation and not wanting to avoid throwing the machine out the window.) Not long into meditation, suddenly 💡 a brilliant idea came to me. Like the booming voice of God...


WHOA! Genius! Why didn't I think of it before? (Hmmmm, dunno, blinding fury maybe?) It was in that moment that I remembered... 


  • We're NEVER supposed to get it "right" the first time.
  • Perfection is a big ol lie that mankind uses to make us feel weak and inferior.
  • Perfection is unattainable because it's a finish and eternal means no finish.
  • You and I are natural creators which NEVER means getting it perfect, it means sculpting and crafting, trying and screwing up and trying again. It's a process. 
  • It won't always be pretty (this I assure you) SO WHAT!
  • All Naysayers and haters, were/are obviously too afraid to try themselves, so instead displace(d) their fears. Their words were/are totally irrelevant lies.
  • You're a badass creator, shut off those negatives tapes and create!

It was in that moment that I reclaimed ALL my power as the great creator that I am, that you are, that we all are. I can't help but create, simply because I am. Whoa... Profound! Well it sounded mad profound in my head of course in perfect Gemma form, it naturally came out of my mouth something more like this...


So I took a deep breath (because that really does always help), filled up my "be magical" mug (that I painted myself... see my instagram for a visual) full of hot cocoa and first invited any master sewer from the Other Side to give me a hand. Btw, you can also call on any master as well, you don't have to be a medium to ask for the help of a Speople expert. I then read the manual, corrected the things that were off, threaded the machine, turned it on, laid down the material, stepped on the pedal and guess what happened...


Creation is not just something you do, it's who you are, it is part of your spiritual DNA. As an eternal being, creation is what allows you to evolve and expand (grow) which is what allows you to be eternal. You must create! It's impossible for you not to. And whether you realize it or not, every second of every day you are creating, simply by what you are focusing on. So, if you're grateful for your amazingly abundant life you're creating more of that, likewise if you're worried about what you don’t have, you're creating more of that. So, to be a purposeful creator, choose your focus wisely. And please, don't get it twisted... Creation is not just for people who make art. Whether you create healthy living like healers, safety like law enforcers, a learning environment like teachers, art, comedy, a loving family event, scientific explorations, a party, inspiration entertainment, a rehab facility, a new business, hope, music, joy or anything else you can think of, create PURPOSEFULLY every day! #energywisdom